Future Remembering

It’s another of those dreams. One that feels like reality. Like the future. A possible future.

The dream is so gradual that I don’t even know the start of it. Inside it, I am an enlightened being.

That is not the term that I apply when I think of myself. I only know that I am in ecstasy. I only know that there is light coming out of my face.

Perhaps it is better said that my face is connected with the light. There is light streaming, spilling over from above me. Some would say that it is the light of God; some that it is coming from heaven. I say it is, simply, light.

My entire being is light in weight, light in cares, light in ambience.

As I step forward, I force my attentions from the rapture above in order to focus on my human feet upon the earth. I become aware of the people on my periphery.

They are all looking to me. There are people on either side, and there are people in front of me and I am surprised that I am not made self-conscious by their attentions. My passing causes a subsequent wake as the flow of humanity parts to let me through, then, closes back up, tight, behind me.

Suddenly, a small sparkle of fear appears upon my human psyche and I wonder if I might fall, if I might disappoint, say the wrong thing or otherwise misguide these fellow beings.

This fear is relayed through my body to my hands, which automatically come up from my sides to provide better balance, palms facing upward, arms close in. My hands reflect the light as I wonder what others perceive of me. My countenance feels brilliant and unblemished, bearing more spirit than matter – but I am not sure how this comes across to mortal eyes.

A flight of steps appear. I feel as though I am either about to stumble – or walk on the very air. I feel these things at the same time and there is that glint, again, as a bit of terror threatens to take me. I’m afraid of this state of being. I’m not sure how to interact with the physical world and the people in it. Balancing is difficult. I fear that I will miss the steps before me and tumble or, worse yet, not need them, forget the laws of physics and simply float away. It seems important that I not do that.

“Look up.” God’s voice speaks inside me. “Dwell within the ecstasy that is the confluence of our beings.”

The others look on, quite unaware of my struggle. I can feel their hunger, their need for guidance.

I stop trying to balance and bring my awareness from my open hands, along the outside of my physical form, through my chest. It all comes together. I can feel the warmth flowing along my neck and into my face. My upturned face. The obliterating light returns. Thinking stops.