So, I’ve finally decided to actually DO it. I’m writing about my life. The good, the bad, the beautiful and the ugly; the parts where I fall down on my face in full stupidity, and the parts where I joyfully soar, in the face of all odds, above the tribulations.
Writing truthfully about my life is NOT an easy thing to be doing. I have to be conscious of the people who I might offend. I have to worry about not being able to hide behind the exterior of the “Deneen†that people know. I’ve had to take into consideration the fact that my mother may read this, my children…oh, for God’s sake, my SON! What son wants to read of his mother’s sexual exploits?
I wonder, what will people actually think of me, and of what I have to say about THEM when all is laid raw, open, and from my perspective?
The time for worry is over. The time is here for me to tell my tale.
I‘m not here to demonize anyone, to say that I am better than anyone, or to make people uncomfortable when they hear any truths from me that might seem harsh. They are only MY truths, and even those are bendable, like the particles in Quantum Physics that only exist in a state of potentiality of being one thing or the other. The Observer changes the truth’s reality, depending on who is doing the looking and what they expect to see.
All people are flawed and hurt. My parents were no exception. I believe that they loved me to the best of their abilities. I’m positive that there wasn’t a single person in the life of the babe that was born Lillian Deneen Hulsey, who looked at her and said, “I’m going to see what I can do to destroy this child.â€Â No, I’m fairly certain that the killing off of parts of me was quite accidental. I must believe that because I’m the kind of person who has to have things make sense in her world – – but that’s another problem to be addressed on another day!
You see, aren’t you glad that you joined me? You already have something else to look forward to!
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Deneen, i have always admired you for being the brave person that you are. i know that your story is a very difficult one for you to write. and i know as well that you will do an amazing job. i’m very proud of you for taking on such a challenge.
Charlene – Thanks, Honey! I’m kind of proud of myself, if truth be told. (You do realize that it’s from my friends that the fount of my strength flows?)
Wonderful, Deneen, and congratulations on the birth of this new enterprise!!
Thanks for sharing your story and your insights, and I look forward to being part of the experience.
Joy – Thank you for coming! It’s important to be surrounded by my spiritual family as I give birth to this fantastic, but frightening baby of mine! The energy of other writing “mothers” (be they male or female) is critical, so I appreciate your sharing yours.
I’m also amused to see that you posted your comment at such an early hour of the morning. Now, I know that you are a SERIOUS writer!
I commented on your first post, but I suppose I should comment here as well!
Congratulations on getting this blog off the ground and flying! I know it’s been very much a labor of love for you to put it all together, and it shows. You have inspired me to begin writing once again, and who knows? I may end up with a blog of my own here someday.
Thank you for your courage and foresight in wanting to share your story with the rest of the world. May all who visit here come away with a greater understanding of, and appreciation for, the life you have lived and the trials you faced during your journey. Best wishes for your continued success!
Hey, Deneen!
I didn’t make it here last night, but this was my first online stop today. 🙂 BRAVO! I know this will sometimes be a difficult journey for you, but I also know how much you will grow by taking it.
May the muses be with you as you peel back the layers of memory.
Hi Deneen!
I just wanted to let you know that I’m here… reading. Eager to know what has made my friend into the woman you are today.
Julie – Thanks so much for your support! You know that my fellow-writers are my life’s blood, and your encouragement means more that I can express with any piddly words – even though I know a darn lot of them!
As for the memory, as I go back into the far-reaches of my mind, I do find more and more of the “me’s” (“mes”? Help me, oh great teacher of the English!) that are hidden there.
April – So nice to see you here! It’s so exciting that we’ve reconnected just in time for you to share this story with me. You are such a pivotal person in my life, and YOU are part of what has made me into the woman that I am today…. (Some of the better parts!)
Hi, I am also very happy for you that you have taken the step to examine your life’s experiences, the good and the bad, and to share them more fully with those of us who have known you for a number of years already. We did often talk about many of the things I’m sure you’ll explore in your essay, out, as you know now, at the time there was much you could not yet see or admit. I think this will be a cathartic experience for you, and that you will grow and become stronger as a consequence.
Lee – I’m sure that writing my story will help me, and it is my greatest wish that it will also help others. Another hope that I have is that you people who have known me for years will get more of the backstory. Some will be a rerun for you – but I’m constantly discovering new things about myself, so I’ll be able to share those things as well. I hope that you will comment – and question, often.
Here’s to the journey!
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