Interview With a House Plant

“Of all the plants at the garden center, why did you purchase me?”

“Because you are beautiful…and you require low light.”

“Low light and low maintenance you mean.”

“I plan on taking great care of you.”

“Yes, I’m sure. You seem enthusiastic about giving the time I require now. What about a few months from now?”

“I don’t plan on anything changing.”

“It will. You’ll need more time to yourself. You’ll get busy and I’ll become a chore instead of a source of joy.”

“Have you been talking to my exes?”

“No, just observed the rest of your plants.”