Be Careful What You Wish For

"I finally found it!" Professor Geest shouted, storming into the Dean's office.

"Found what?"

"The secret joke the Universe plays on us!"

"What are you going on about?" the Dean asked, scowling at his uninvited guest.

"Every person is granted one wish, just once in their lives... but the joke is that it's random. You never know which wish will be granted, so most of the time it ends up being pointless stuff. But I've worked out how to predict it! All you have to do is--"

"I wish you'd forget this nonsense and get back to work."

"Forget what?"