Worry For Nothing

�I cannot spare any change! This is my tithe money, and it�s owed to God. You�re hungry? Put down that liquor and get a job.�

�That lesbian daughter of mine will get nothing! I�m not going to hell for supporting her lifestyle!�

�Our preacher�s committing adultery? Expel him! A sinner in the pulpit will surely send us all straight to you-know-where!�

Michael (stands before the throne): Father, we have a new arrival. What shall we do with this woman? She claims to have served you.

God (turns away): I know her not.

Michael (check-marks his notepad): The basement it is!