“I cannot spare any change! This is my tithe money, and it’s owed to God. You’re hungry? Put down that liquor and get a job.”
“That lesbian daughter of mine will get nothing! I’m not going to hell for supporting her lifestyle!”
“Our preacher’s committing adultery? Expel him! A sinner in the pulpit will surely send us all straight to you-know-where!”
Michael (stands before the throne): Father, we have a new arrival. What shall we do with this woman? She claims to have served you.
God (turns away): I know her not.
Michael (check-marks his notepad): The basement it is!