The First One's Free

Rem wheeled his way down the narrow, noxious alley. His sensors scanned the humans’ dwellings with disdain, their cluttered and dirty hovels so alien to his own pristine residence cubicle. The fleshies scattered as he searched for the one he had been told would be here. A tall human beckoned and he approached cautiously.

“You looking to buy?” the human asked.

“Yes,” Rem answered.

“Your preference?” the human asked.

“I wish to try this feeling called, Paranoia,” Rem stated.

“That’s never a good choice,” the human said.

“It’s received six out of six stars on the Intensity Scale,” Rem said.